We have claws for a reason
by Lorelei The Moon Child
Summary: "You will not die while I'm here, you will not surrender while I live. If I have one goddamned purpose in my cursed life, it's that" Each chapter is a different story, or idea based off of prompts I get in the comments or on tumblr. The aren't connected unless specified in the AN, but all are in the universe of Penny Dreadful. Focused on Ethan x Vanessa.
1. Desperation and Forgivness

**A/N:** _So, I have never written for this show before, and I've never written with these characters, so I apologize if it seems disjointed or strange. I will get better with practice. This season has been such an emotional roller coaster for me, and I am so attached to these two characters that I couldn't resist filling up the blanks that were left after 2x07. So here is a continuation. I'm accepting prompts/critiques/suggestions both here, and on my tumblr! Hope you enjoy!_

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Another storm was blowing through and the raging thunder was the only thing that broke the heavy silence between them. He sat in the chair in front of the hearth, a heavy hand resting against his face as the fire blazed in front of him. She stood on the stairway, watching.

He was still upset. She could feel it, even without her sensitivity, the air between them was thick with emotion. She could feel his emotions, scratching at the back of her mind like an animal. There was anger, a deep seeded, passionate anger that resonated through to his very core, but there was also concern. A lot of it. His anger was as strong as it was because of his concern for her.

She'd done wrong. She knew it. She felt it deep in her soul, down to her very bones even. "Thou shalt not kill." But she'd done it anyway, consumed by anger, and a thirst for revenge that was stronger than anything she'd ever felt. But it had still been wrong, and his raised voice and fierce hands against her arms had forced that realization into her.  
He'd been trying to protect her, and she'd neglected that. She could feel his disappointment in her, and she wanted to rectify that, with everything she had. She needed him, she knew that, and if she wanted him to stay in her life, she had to act.

She moved carefully over beside him, dropping to her knees beside his chair. She hesitated a moment before resting her head on his knee. He stiffened at her touch, but made no move to push her away, instead, she felt gentle fingers on the nape of her neck, tangling in her hair. His touch was reassuring, soothing to her troubled mind. They stayed that way for a while before she could gather the nerve to speak.

"Please don't hate me." Her voice trembled and she felt like a child. Knelt before him as she was, she felt exposed.

She asked not for his forgiveness, not even that he remain here with her,but simply that he didn't walk away with hatred in his heart. She needed him, wanted him in her life, but she would not force him. She only silently prayed that his affection was strong enough to keep him here, if there was any left.

"Vanessa..." her name rolled off his tongue like honey. "I don't hate you...I couldn't hate you..." he hesitated, wanting to keep going, but unsure of how.

"I'm not even angry with you...just.." he stopped again, unable to find the word.

"Disappointed." She finished for him, biting her lip at the idea. She'd already considered it, but hearing it confirmed was different.

"Yes. Exactly that. You are better than the ones that hunt you, I know you are, yet you use the same tactics. You feel it, I know you feel it. I can see it. I know what revenge feels like, but that wasn't you. I see who you are."

She drew away from him, curling in on herself and wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Yes, I know. You see me exactly for who I am." She sounded almost bitter, remembering the fire in his voice when he'd yelled the night before, lashing out at her and the monster she was.

Part of her was glad he'd seen it in her, it would keep things simple. But the other parts of her still tasted him on her lips.

"I do. I meant it when I said it, but I did not mean it the way that I said it, " He sighed, realizing just how much his words had stung her. She'd heard him, even though it seemed, at the time, that she was too stubborn to hear anything. "I see you Miss Ives. I see someone who is both strong and frail, someone who is good, and kind and gentle, but I also see someone who is afraid, and desperate for peace and resolution." He sat up in the chair and put his hand on her head, stroking her hair gently and hoping to coax her eyes in his direction.

She turned to face him and those big blue eyes were so full of emotion, a hurricane of conflict, relief and fear, peace and hurt, and so many more.

"Desperation drives people to lengths that they normally wouldn't go to. I fear that for you." He admitted patiently. Surely she had something to say.

"You were going to do it." She accused lightly, hoping to understand the meaning behind his actions.

"Desperation." He responded simply, "I swore I would protect you, and keep you from harm by any means. I know what that kind of guilt does to someone. I didn't want you to feel that."

There was a moment of silence where she took in the new information. She'd imagined that that had been his purpose, but she did not want him carrying the weight of her sins with him. There were too many, and it was a weight that only she could bare.

"I appreciate that more than I could put into words but it was a decision I had to make. It was something I had to do for myself, if only to put a few of these demons at bay. You're right in saying that I feel it, and you were right in saying that it was wrong. It was, and I accept full responsibility for that...:" She exhaled heavily, and although her words held conviction, her voice could not rise to meet it. She was still confused, still bundled in conflict in her own mind.

There was another long silence before she spoke again.

"I don't like killing things. I don't like violence. I don't like blood, and if I could leave it all behind, I would. " she admitted," but my vision was clouded by the past...by rage and fear..." she whispered, closing her eyes and shrinking further into herself. He waited for more, still gently stroking her hair, lost in the feeling against his calloused hand

"I apologize Ethan, for breaking your trust in such a way."

"I forgive you. But I want you to remember this in the future...you have too much good in you to throw it all away. And I apologize for my reaction. I frightened you and I wish I hadn't." He murmured, settling back in the chair, scratching his chin thoughtfully. After a while, she joined him again, settling her head against his knee once again, finding the sensation of his hand in her hair unbelievably relaxing.

"You don't scare me." She teased gently, hoping to bring back the air of domesticity that they'd shared before.

"Good." He teased in response and Vanessa felt her heart lighten at the sound.

For now, they would be just fine.

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 _Opinions, darlings? I'd love to here!_


	2. I want you

_A popular request :) I suppose I should put a "smut warning" here, but there isn't anything terribly graphic about it. It's not my best work, but I don't do smutty/sexy very often so I apologize in advance, and am always open for feedback! I have one more request to fill, but I am always open for more! Hope you enjoy._

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 _"No! We are dangerous!"_ Vanessa growled at him, pushing him away, and backing herself into the wall. He could see the frustration in her eyes, and he watched her emotion swirl in endless, maddening circles, fear and desire wrestling to control her.

He moved towards her again, ignoring the warning look in her eyes, and the small objection that passed through her lips. He placed a hand on either side of her face, and pressed his weight against her, pinning her to the wall.

"I don't care. You deserve to live the life you want, fear and complication be damned."

She opened her mouth to object but he caught her lips with his before she could speak, and pulled her up by her waist, holding her above him again. Her arms locked around his neck, hands tangling in his hair as she kissed him back. Like before, this kiss was fierce, passionate, almost desperate. He pulled at her legs, prompting her to lock them around his waist, allowing one hand to brace them against the wall, and the other to wander underneath her skirts.

He heard a sharp intake of breath when his fingers wandered between her thighs, but she did not object. In response to his wandering hands, she let her own wander. One trembling hand left his hair and moved to his chest, undoing the buttons of his shirt and running cool fingers down across his bare skin, and the other sliding down between them, finding the buckle of his belt, and being quick to undo it. Soon, the hand on his chest wandered back into his hair, and their kiss deepened, but the hand between his legs was doing magic things, and he couldn't wait any longer.

"I want you." He growled, pulling away from her lips and looking into her eyes. He rocked his hips forward, pushing her even further into the wall, using both his hands on her hips to steady her against him. She felt his eagerness pressed against the inside of her thighs, and she couldn't stand to deny him. She wanted him too. She locked her arms around his neck, her eyes staring longingly into his. They were wide open, wild with passion in a way he'd only ever imagined, but they were still hers, and not the demon locked inside her head.

"Then have me." She was breathless, her face flushed with desire. She rocked her hips forward , loosening the grip her legs had around his hips and giving him the best access she could.

He kissed her neck, grazing his teeth across her skin as he found his way into her. A sharp, husky gasp broke from her lips and her head lolled back, exposing her neck even further for him. He moved his hands from her hips to her ass, hoisting her up, further onto him.

They moved their hips in unison, their voices together made a chorus of moans and whimpers. Vanessa caught his lips again, kissing him frantically, her voice growing louder and less controlled the harder he went into her. Her moans against his lips were driving him mad. He wanted closer to her, deeper than he already was. He wanted to drown in her sounds, and lose himself completely in the feeling of her body, tight and wrapped around him.

He thrust harder against her, her sounds of pleasure a driving force for his own desire. He growled and panted alongside her, losing his senses more and more every time her hips rolled against him, pulling him closer into her.

They were getting messy now, their rhythm off balance, and she was trembling beneath him. Both were so close, and he could feel it, but he slowed anyway. Her moans were laced with growls now, and her gentle fingers were bared like claws.

She'd warned him. He knew the demon inside her. She knew she could lose control, she'd pushed away, but he'd pulled her back, and now he had to keep her here.

"Look at me," he purred, moving his hands to frame her face. She was breathless, and her eyes were alight with passion, but the demon was threatening to take over. She touched his face, fighting to regain control, but the monster growled.

"Vanessa…" he purred, coaxing the woman out and pushing the demon away. He kissed her, much gentler, much softer than before, and continued to rock his hips. A small whimper, chased by a moan let him know that she was back, that the hands tangled in his hair, the lips that covered his, and the hips that rolled against him were hers, and only hers.

He continued to rock his hips, continued to kiss her until neither body could hold on any longer. Trembling, and rolling her head back against the wall, Vanessa called his name, quietly, desperately, her voice caught somewhere between a whimper and a moan. Her whole body shuddered and she constricted around him.

He rode out the last wave of his own ecstasy and finished deep inside her, finding her lips again, and kissed her, tasting his name in her lips.

She kissed him back without protest, and God, he swore he could have said those three little words that were rattling around in his head, but not just yet.

They had time.

* * *

 _This plays on my own personal idea that, since the demon tries to control Vanessa any time before/after/during sex that only someone who knows and has seen the demon inside her, like really seen it, could help her control it, especially in a moment like this. Dorian couldn't, and none of the others could, because Ethan has fought with this demon already. ~Until tomorrow~_


	3. Eternity

_Okay, the prompt was "Eternity".I've been having a really rough day, so I tried to write fluffs to make me feel better. :) But,because of the fluff, the characters might be a little OOC, and if they are, I apologize. Enjoy!  
_

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"I hope you don't feel it strange of me to say, Mr. Chandler, but I feel as if I've known you before" Vanessa murmured, passing the lit cigarette to his waiting hand as he settled beside her.

He took a long drag, puffing smoke through his lips, waiting for her to continue.

She was watching him thoughtfully, twining and untwining her fingers together, as it seemed she always did when she was thinking.

"In what way?" He prompted, passing the cigarette back to her, and resting his head against the back of the sofa, waiting.

"I know it sounds silly, but I can't help but feel that, when I'm around you, I've known you before, in some way, or at least much longer than it has truly been." She said, staring idly into the darkness, and flicking ashes from the end of the cigarette. And it really had only been a short time since he'd entered her life, mere months, but it felt like so much longer.

"I know, it's ridiculous." she added after getting no response. Perhaps it was only a product of her addled brain or a byproduct of their strange, mutual affection.

"No, I don't think it's ridiculous at all. The pair of us have been through several ordeals together, and in my experience, that creates a sense of camaraderie that seems much older then it really is." He responded, casting their cigarette bud into the fire, and bringing another one to his lips.

She laughed at the way he'd said 'ordeals', as if the worst they'd faced were a few natural disasters or something along those lines.

"This is true," she acknowledged with a grin, "but it doesn't quite capture the essence of what I mean," she paused again, hunting for the proper words, but upon finding them, chose not to continue, "Oh never mind. I couldn't explain it properly anyway."

"Go on, try, now I'm curious." He prodded, grinning at the flustered look on her face.

She waited a moment, and they continued to exchange the cigarette while she gathered her thoughts. The world seemed so quiet from the moors. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed the silence until that was all she could hear.

"Do you believe in reincarnation?" she finally murmured, looking up into his eyes curiously, rather than staring away as he'd expected. Did he? He tried his best to be a man of God, but here lately, he couldn't quite wrap his head around it. He knew that there was far more to this world than he'd ever expected, and it was in part, thanks to the woman beside him. Surely it could be plausible.

"Well, I certainly don't disbelieve it. I couldn't say. I believe in a lot more now than I did before I met you and the rest." He responded thoughtfully. She made a small humming noise in response, and hesitated before asking a new question.

"Well, in that case, humor me for a moment," she gave him a small, near innocent smile that he swore could melt even the coldest heart, "Say you do believe. Do you think there could ever be a bond, a kinship of any kind, that could transcend lifetimes?" He hesitated, thinking back to the first time that he met her, and was thrust into this new world, this demimonde, she'd called it.

When he'd seen her, something had clicked in his brain, he'd thought it something simple, like attraction, but the amount of desperation he felt every time she was in trouble, and how natural it felt to be around her indicated something stronger. Thinking about it, he felt he'd known her for years as well.

"If I was certain I believed, I would say yes. It's very possible. If you can predict the future, and contact spirits, why wouldn't having a strong connection to your past life not be plausible?" He responded cautiously, listening to her hum a small note in response.

He spent a moment waiting for her to respond, before realizing that she wasn't going to. He searched her face, curious to see if her face reflected her thoughts at all, and in the dim light, he could have sworn her cheeks had flushed pink. Was she blushing?

"Is that what you think? That we were bonded together somehow in a past life?" He asked her, feeling almost flattered by the idea, and realizing how highly she must have thought of him.

On the sofa beside him, she curled up a little tighter, barely hiding her face from his sight. Most definitely blushing.

She laughed a small, breathless laugh before responding, "I know you must think it's silly, but yes. I feel as if I've known you forever, an eternity perhaps. Since we've met, I've had the peculiar feeling that I know you, and that we may have even been...destined to meet again..." her voice trailed off into silence, and she hid her face in her knees again.

The childlike innocence of the action, and the wondrous tone her voice had held made him laugh. How could one person be so fragile and childlike, yet so fierce at the same time?

Upon hearing him laugh, she groaned, curling even further into herself. "I shouldn't have said anything" she muttered, rejecting the cigarette he offered.

He put it back to his lips for a moment, before putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"No, I'm glad you did. It's interesting to think about. I don't know how much stock I put into the idea of reincarnation. but I do agree with you. I do feel like I've known you for a very long time. I feel a stronger connection to you then I've felt to anyone….," he murmured carefully, "if that's not too bold." he added as an afterthought,

She looked up, eyeing him suspiciously, taking the cigarette from his lips.

"You don't have to humor me anymore. I know I'm being completely ridiculous." She murmured, tucking the cigarette into her lips as she finished.

"I'm being serious, I promise. You're not ridiculous."

"Whatever you say Mr. Chandler." she said, following with a tinkling laugh, whether she believed him or not, he couldn't say, but he sensed the end of the conversation was at hand so he didn't respond with anything other than a chuckle.

Fated or not, he was more than relieved to know her now, and he hoped, not so secretly, that the eternity she'd spoken of continued as long as it could into this lifetime as well.

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 _Like I said, complete, perhaps even out of character fluff. I hope everyone enjoyed it regardless. I know writing it certainly lightened my mood. ~Until tomorrow!~_


	4. Please don't leave me

_Before I begin, let me tell you guys that this is NOT related to the first chapter, where Van apologized to Ethan and all that jazz. This is another alternate ending type deal based off of a tumblr prompt. Enjoy ;D_

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"Welcome to the night, Vanessa." He told her, turning his back to her and staring into the fire. For a moment, he almost thought about walking away, going back to London and finding one of the others to look after her, but he didn't. He couldn't make himself seriously consider it. Her actions had been wrong, but certainly a softer conclusion could be reached.

Before he could speak again, he heard her scoff, loudly, angrily behind him.

"Don't patronize me, _Little boy._ I have lived in this night long before I knew you. And don't you dare speak to _me_ about _my_ soul. You know nothing." He whirled around to face her, not sure what he was expecting to see. Her fists were balled at her sides, teeth bared in anger, and her face flushed. He could see the darkness creeping into her eyes.

" _Oh no_ Miss Ives," he spat, "My intention was _never_ to patronize you, only to let you know that you are getting out of control."

She took a step towards him, fists still balled in anger, "Whose control? Yours? I am not yours to control. I CHOSE THIS." She snarled at him, resisting the urge to growl or scream at the top of her lungs.

"Chose what? To throw away your soul for the sake of revenge? What the fuck were you thinking?" He hissed back, taking a step backwards, the further she moved in. Her face was tense, flushed with color, veins showing. The longer he watched, the more animal like she became.

"I was thinking that he deserved it. That is was MY decision to make. That I got to chose what to do," She snarled again, not as loudly as before. Her eyes were burning like fire.

"Well you chose poorly." He growled.

"BUT I CHOSE FOR MYSELF, I'M TIRED OF LIVING A LIFE DICTATED BY OTHER PEOPLE!" She screeched.

"Well you could have at least done it with regards to those other people! After everything we've done to keep you safe? After everything we've done to save you from that darkness? You go and fucking ask for it!" He snapped, clenching his own fist, glaring her down. She may be small, but her anger made her presence massive, filling the room with a fury like no other.

"Exactly! 'WE!' What you all have done for me. You, Sir Malcolm, Sembene, the whole lot of you. It's my turn, damnit! I am not some small, squeaking little door mouse that needs a guardian!" She screamed, and she didn't stop there.

"I am sick and tired of having to depend on other people to keep me safe. This evil is after me, but always, the people around me are targeted! PEOPLE DIE BECAUSE I CARE FOR THEM AND I WON'T HAVE THAT BLOOD ON MY HANDS ANY LONGER!" She was breathless now,her chest rising and falling with painful breath. Her face was still painted red with anger.

"WE CHOSE TO DO THIS FOR YOU! BECAUSE YOU NEEDED US! And throwing all of that away to prove something is ridiculous Vanessa!"

He barked back at her, although his own anger was ebbing away.

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO FOLLOW ME HERE! YOU CHOSE THIS!" She screamed, "YOU KNOW WHAT I AM BUT YOU FOLLOWED ME ANYWAY! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T STAY!"

Immediately, she registered the hurt, and the shock on his face. She'd never wanted to hurt him, but if he listened to her and left, it would be better for them both.

"Is that what you want?" He whispered, feeling his chest tighten at the thought of her removing him from her life.

There was a long silence in which she turned her back on him, crossing her arms across her chest and hugging her sides.

"Just go back to London, Ethan." She whispered in response, her voice thick with emotion.

"Okay. I will, first thing in the morning, but I need you to tell me something first."

She made a small noise, telling him to continue.

"Was it really motivated by revenge? Or was there something else?" He asked, desperate to get her to open up to. Her yelled decelerations were not enough. He knew her thoughts ran deeper; there was more on her heart and mind then she'd say.

"I did it because I wanted too. I wanted him dead. And because I needed to know if I could in the event that..." she whispered, clutching her sides tighter, and turning further away from him.

"In the event that what?" He asked.

"In the event that weapons weren't enough, and one of you needed my help." She whispered, her tone growing slightly more flustered.

"I still don't quite understand..." He felt what she was saying, but he could hear the tension in every breath she took. She needed to keep going.

"WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT? ALL OF YOU HAVE PROVEN THAT YOU WOULD DO IT FOR ME, SO WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT ME TRYING TO PROTECT THE PEOPLE I LOVE? I'M TIRED OF LOSING PEOPLE BECAUSE OF MY OWN INCOMPETENCE!" She whirled around to face him, throwing into the air in frustration. In the dying fire light, he saw tear tracks staining her face.

"And that's what this is about?" He continued prodding her, not daring to mention that she was far from incompetent. Now was not the time for flattery or tender words. He wanted her to keep going, whether she yelled or cried, he didn't care. His own anger had hidden itself away, knowing he'd at least somewhat gotten his point across. Now, his main concern was her.

"Yes" she muttered, relaxing her arms beside her.

"Why?"

She almost growled in frustration then, locking her arms around herself and pacing in small circles. Her eyes had welled up with tears again, but they were still filled with darkness and frustration.

He settled himself on the sofa then, so she was pacing in front of him, elbows propped on his knees, and he held his chin,

" You're trying so hard because you feel guilty?"

"I AM TRYING SO HARD BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ETHAN" She dropped to the floor then, sitting up and curling in on herself, hiding her face against her knees and screaming.

There was a long moment of silence between them, with just the howling of the wind, and her muffled crying between them. He didn't know what to say to her, what to do in this situation. He most certainly wasn't leaving in the morning, but as for right now, he was lost.

He slid to his knee beside her, setting a hesitant hand against her arm, before gently prying her fingers from her arm, and holding them in his hands, like he'd done once before. He didn't know if she even remembered.

" You and the others...all of you...I would do anything to keep you..." she didn't look up at him, but her voice was so fragile. He could hear the tears in her voice. He wrapped his arms around her, and it only took a minute for her to fall in against him. He felt her small hands wrap up in the fabric of his shirt, and her head settled against his shoulder easily.

"Please don't go back to London. I didn't mean it..." she whimpered against his neck.

"Darlin'," he murmured, testing the word he felt every time he spoke to her, "so long as you want me here, I'm with you."

* * *

 _Well, that's that.I'm also thinking of posting a multi chapter fic with my_ _ **ideal**_ _season 3, sort of an AU/Prediction story. Would any of you be interested in reading it? ~Until tomorrow!~_


	5. Sleepless Nights

_Alrighty guys, I've been really busy the last several days, with family holidays and overtime at work, so I apologize for not updating, but I've got plenty of new prompts/ideas, so be looking for them! This one isn't a prompt per say, but it was inspired by a scene from a fic I wrote a while back. Here goes!_

* * *

The entire house was completely silent. And from the inside it seemed that perhaps the entire world had fallen still as well.

There were times when Vanessa relished the silence, the dark, and then there were times like these, when the darkness was out to get her and the silence opened the doors to all the thoughts she'd closed away.

Tonight, she paced around the hallways of her home, up and down the stairs, roaming with no real destination in mind. Her only goal was to waste enough time to see the sun rise again, so she could properly start her day.

She entered the drawing room for the sixth time that night, and was startled upon finding someone there. She hadn't seen anyone on her way up the stairs, and the only footsteps she'd heard were her own, but there he was.

"You should be in bed, " She murmured quietly, approaching him with enough noise not to startle him.

She crossed her arms over her torso, perching on the edge of the sofa. He laid casually, a book in his hands and a cigarette caught between his lips. He glanced up at her through his hair and smirked,laying the book across his legs and plucking the cigarette from his lips,

"I'd say the same to you, but I'm sure you know that," he adjusted his position to allow her to slide down beside him, "Rough night?" He asked, offering her the cigarette, surprised when she denied it. She drew her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, laying her head against her knees and watching him thoughtfully.

"No more than usual," She murmured quietly, unable to stifle the yawn the broke

free from her delicate pink lips. She looked horrible. Dark circles ringed her eyes; they were hazier, and less sharp than usual. Her skin was gaunt, lacking any real color, and when she adjusted her hands against her legs, he noticed how strongly she was trembling. He already worried for her, but seeing her unraveling made it even worse. During the day, she managed to maintain composure, her facade unbreakable and her will made of iron, but in the night, he could see how truthfully close to shattering she was.

"How long has it been since you've slept?" he asked curiously. She didn't immediately respond, barely stifling another yawn as she was thinking about it.

"Honestly, I couldn't tell you, a few hours, two days ago, I believe." She murmured, and even her voice was weaker than normal.

"But what about you?," she retorted, "You should be asleep as well."

He chuckled at her words, hearing an undertone of defiance in them.

"I sleep every night. It just so happens that tonight, I chose not to." She made a small noise in response, but didn't speak again. He picked up his book again, but couldn't see the words, instead his eyes kept traveling to her face, watching her curiously. Her eyes were trained on the flickering candles, scattered across the room.

They sat in silence for a moment longer before she spoke again,

"Read to me." she requested softly, turning her large blue eyes towards him, wide and childlike in their sleeplessness. He watched her for a moment, waiting for her to elaborate, or say something else, but she didn't. He was curious as to what her motivations were, but he didn't ask.

When he cleared his throat and began to speak.

 _In the fell clutch of circumstance_

 _I have not winced nor cried aloud._

 _Under the bludgeonings of chance_

 _My head is bloody but unbowed_

She relaxed in the seat beside him, and giggled quietly. Her eyes were wide open when he glanced up to meet her gaze.

"What's funny?" he asked, amused by the sound of her laughter.

"Nothing particularly. You just never struck me as a poetry person. Please continue." she murmured, watching him intently until he continued,

 _Beyond this place of wrath and tears_

 _Looms but the horror of the shade_

 _And yet the menace of the years_

 _Finds and shall find me unafraid_

 _It matters not how strait the gate_

She spoke again, before he could continue to the next line. Her eyes were closed, her head resting on her knees, but she finished the poem as if reading it from the book he held.

 _Or how charged with punishment the scroll_

 _I am the master of my fate;  
I am the captain of my soul. _

Her voice was softer than his, the words whispered, rather than spoken aloud, as if they would shatter into pieces and disappear if she spoke too loud.

"That has always been one of my favorites." She murmured,opening her eyes, and watching him again. "Would you mind reading another one, please?" He watched her face; the longer they sat together, and the more he read to her, the heavier her eyes got.

"Of course," he murmured,

 _O, have you blessed, behind the stars,_

 _The blue sheen of the skies,_

 _When June the roses around her calls_

 _Then, do you know the light that falls_

 _From her beloved eyes_

 _And have you felt that sense of peace_

 _That morning meadows give?_

 _Then do you know the spirit of grace_

 _The angel abiding in her face,_

 _Who makes it good to live._

 _She shines before me, hope and dream._

 _So fair, so still, so wise_

 _That winning her, I seem to won_

 _Out of the Dust and Drive and Din_

 _A nook of paradise._

He glanced up to find her eyes closed, and her breathing heavy. How long she'd been asleep, he couldn't say, but it was a relief to see her so peaceful. She was still curled up tightly, defending herself from her surroundings, even in her sleep.

"Vanessa?" He whispered softly, not wanting to wake her, but still needing to check. He stood up carefully, as not to disturb her, and laid the book aside. As carefully as he could, he wrapped his arms around her. She didn't stir, and even dead asleep she was all but weightless.

Even after carrying her upstairs, and settling her into her bed, she had still not woken up. The poor thing really was exhausted, he thought, watching her for a moment to ensure that her sleep was not disturbed.

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, before he left the room. She curled up tighter, and before closing the door, he could have sworn he saw her smile.

* * *

 _Okay my darklings! That is one fic out of several that I plan on posting within the next few days! Be sure to let me know what you think! If you're curious, the poems are both by William Earnest Henley. I don't know if his poems would have been available to read at the time the show takes place, but they are two of my favorite poems, and I feel as if they fit the theme of the show very well. The first poem is called "Invictus" the second is called "O, have you blessed behind the stars."_

 _~Until Tomorrow!~_


	6. Closer to Heaven

_The prompt for this fic was what they were thinking before, during, and after the kiss from 2x07. I'm gonna try out a new format to sort of fit the request, so bear with me if it seems a little odd for a moment. Here we go!_

* * *

Before he'd kissed her, he could feel his heart pounding against his chest. His heartbeat was as erratic as his breathing was heavy. Adrenaline rushed through his veins like the fire that had disturbed them, and all he could see was her. Her eyes were wide, her hair dripping wet, and he'd never felt closer to her than in this moment.  
She'd told him that she loved storms; during those times everything that was true came out. These storms, the one blazing around them, and the one blazing through his eyes were no exception. Her whole body was soaking wet, and the rain continued to come down on both of them, but she could pay it no mind. The look in his eyes, hungry and desperate, rushed through her veins, from the tip of her toes to the top of her head, through to her very soul. She wanted him.

* * *

When he kissed her, everything exploded again. He lifted her into the air carelessly,effortlessly; she was weightless against him. They fit together perfectly, and with her lips against his, the world almost made sense again. Nothing else mattered but this; her hands were tangled in his hair, her breath gentle against his lips, his face when she looked him in the eyes. He could see the lightning flashing in her eyes, and she seemed more alive in that moment then he'd ever seen her. In that moment, her eyes were undeniably her, the presence in his arms was real. He'd never been quite certain in what he believed, but in this moment, he knew more than he ever had before. He was a sinner, and her lips were as close to heaven as he'd ever be.  
The feeling running through her veins had moved well past adrenaline; it was electricity, shocking parts of her to life, parts of her she'd never felt before. She wasn't a stranger to men. She knew a kiss, she knew a touch, but in her mind they were vague; they were noiseless, faceless, strung together pieces of memory that didn't really belong to her; a blur. But feeling his hands on her, her fingers wrapped in his hair, his lips and hers, they were real, this was real, _she_ was real. But for how long, she couldn't say, as much as she trusted her heart, she couldn't trust her own mind. She wanted him, but the voice in the back of her head, that toxic, snake like whisper that she had become so accustomed to ignoring was growing louder and louder, the longer his hands were on her hips.

* * *

When she'd pushed him away, the first thing to flash through his mind was rejection, and it confused him. He was so certain, he'd felt it on her lips, surely she'd meant it as much as he did, but her words brought his mind back to the present. She'd said "We are dangerous" but her eyes said something different altogether. Her eyes shouted at him that she was dangerous, and those bright blue eyes implored him to see that this was for his sake. They'd grown darker than before, and he realized then what she was trying to tell him. So long as she wasn't alone in her mind, so long as she was not in control, he could not have 'd told her before that he was with her, and this, in no way, changed his mind, but the desperation he'd felt in her fingers only made him more resolved to save her.  
As soon as she'd pushed him away she regretted it. His hands had felt so right, their breath had mingled together so sweetly, and the look in his eyes broke her heart. The whisper in her mind had subsided, but so had the feeling of life that his kiss had provided her. She wanted him, but she couldn't hurt him. She needed his presence in her life, but closing the gap between them now would put him at even more risk than he already was, and she hated it. She'd told him once that she could have fallen in love with him. What she didn't tell him was that she didn't want to. She didn't want to see him get hurt because of her. She didn't tell him that in their months together, she already had.

* * *

 _Okay, I apologize because that was super super short, but I felt like it was loaded with a pretty decent amount of emotion, so maybe that made up for it? More fics to come!_


	7. Please Don't Cry

_Okay, this story is based off of a game I was playing on tumblr. I asked for people to send me some lyrics to their favorite song, and I would turn it into a drabble based off of a pairing._

* * *

 _"Talk to me softly/There is something in your eyes/Don't hang your head in sorrow/And please don't cry/I know how you feel inside I've/Been there before/Somethin's changin inside you/And you don't know" "Don't Cry" by Guns N Roses_

* * *

The company had dispersed for the night, gone into town to live their respective lives, and Vanessa and Ethan were alone. Silence fell over the house like a blanket, stifling any laughter or joy that could be found, creating a playground for the ghosts of the past, and all of the thoughts better left hidden.

Ethan paced around the house restlessly, the snow and ice pelting the ground outside, adding a chill to the already desolate feeling of the flat. The Company had began taking shifts recently, keeping Vanessa under someone's watch at all times. He was already growing bored of the schedule, and he knew she was too. Vanessa was not a creature of habit, nor did she have the personality of someone who could stay confined for long periods of time. She had a free spirit, and the longer she spent in the house, the more restless and anxious she became.

In his restlessness, he found her perched beside a window, staring aimlessly out into the night, her eyes glazed over, not really seeing anything. He was surprised to see tears falling from her eyes and trailing from her cheeks. Vanessa's tears were not common, and they were never without reason.

When she heard him approach, she wiped the tears away from her face quickly, putting on a smile that did not reach her eyes. She turned towards him in the seat, much stiffer than she usually was around him.

"What's wrong?" He murmured gently, cupping her face in his hand, and tilting her chin up towards him. She made no effort to keep up her facade, her smile cracking as soon as he'd finished his question, but she did not cry again, nor did she tell him the truth.

"Honestly, it's nothing. Hysteria….." he brought his other hand to her face, running a thumb across her lips, stopping the lie before she could finish telling it.

He dropped his hands, offering them to her, and pulling her to her feet as soon as she interlaced her fingers with his. He could see something in her eyes, something dark, and cold, tearing at the softness he usually saw when she turned her gaze to him.

"Talk to me." He whispered softly, drawing her hands up, and placing a soft kiss on her fingertips. She dropped her head, looking to their feet rather than into his eyes. Her tears fell again, before she could stop them.

"You know you can trust me, don't you?" he murmured, trying to draw her eyes back upwards. He let go of one of her hands so he could wipe the fresh tears from her face.

"Is this it, Ethan? Is this what I can expect for the rest of my life? To be afraid of the darkness and…" She dropped her head again, curling her fingers into his shirt, and resting her head against his chest. He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her, and laying one hand gently against her hair.

"Of course not. You still have as much a chance at a life as we all do." He told her what he felt. Someone like her deserved so much better than what she had. She could still have everything.

"How? My existence threatens everyone…" She cut her sentence short, tears falling harder than before. He didn't need much imagination to fill in the blanks though. She felt like her existence threatened everyone; the people she cared about, and the people who cared about her; anyone who entered her life for more than a fleeting second was in danger. He couldn't deny it, but he also couldn't say it wasn't worth it. She was worth the struggle.

"Hush now, darlin', don't cry. I understand how you're feeling...I do." He rubbed gentle circles into the small of her back, at a loss for how to save her from her own emotions. This was not a physical foe he was facing, but something more dangerous, an invisible threat, something only found in her head.

"We're all here for you, we are. We're all going to help you however we can…" He pressed his lips to her head, and continuing to rub her back gently. She pulled away from him, looking up into his eyes, her own still decorated with tears. There was a spark in her eyes, something close to fear joining the sadness.

"I don't think you can help me. It's getting stronger, I can feel it..." she murmured helplessly, roughly wiping away her tears.

"Well, so are we. We understand now more than we did before…." he murmured in response, capturing her hands again, holding them inside his own, against his heart.

"I'm afraid of it…" she whimpered, closing her eyes, resting her forehead against his shoulder, and taking her hands from him to wrap her arms around his waist

"I know, and that's okay, you'll be okay." He whispered as reassuringly as he could manage. Her small form was shaking from crying again.

"You don't know that." She sighed against his shoulder, refusing to look up when he touched her shoulders.

"I don't know for sure, no, but there are a lot of things that I don't know for sure, I do know one thing for certain though," he said, resting a hand on her hip.

"What?" she asked timidly, looking back into his eyes. He kissed her forehead gently, before saying,

"I'm not giving up on you, no matter how difficult it gets."

They heard the front door creak before she could speak, and they jumped apart, although Ethan's hand stayed firmly locked around her hip.

Sir Malcolm looked in on them, but did nothing but smile before walking up the stairs.

* * *

 _I think that's it for tonight, more to come though!_  
 _~Until Tomorrow!~_


	8. The things we want

_Hello loves! I'd like to start by apologizing for my extensive absence. My family is facing a small tragedy at the moment, and we're dealing with a lot. It's been far too busy and far too stressful for me to spend my time focused on these fics. I'm very sorry about that. Now that the season is over, I've got more prompts than ever, so I'm going to try to keep us all entertained throughout the hiatus. This, particular fic was requested BEFORE that season finale, so at this point could be considered an AU._

* * *

Vanessa had grown restless in the last few weeks. She'd been confined to the house for the most part, rarely able to leave, and never able to leave on her own. She hated it. She was made to be a free spirit, Ethan knew, and keeping her pent up was the equivalent of keeping a bird in a cage. The weather was changing, and that morning, she had wanted nothing more than to leave and wander about the city. He'd been unable to deny her anything with the look on her face, so now they were walking through the city park.

He kept his distance from her, allowing her to wander about on her own, and only keeping her within his sights. Her eyes were sparkling, and a look of content sparked across her face. She sat casually on the bench, alternating between watching the children play in the field and closing her eyes and soaking in the sunshine.

Ethan watched curiously when a small child, a little girl no more than 6, climbed onto the bench beside her and started talking. He was too far from them to hear what was being said, but the huge smile that flitted across Vanessa's face was unmistakable. The conversation seemed to go back and forth for quite a while, the little girl talking animatedly, waving her hands around in exaggerated movements, and making silly expressions.

He was surprised a little, to see the scorpion, the lioness herself, Vanessa Ives return these gestures. They were both giggling and grinning, and the sight made him smile. After a moment, it appeared that they waned into a silence. Vanessa looked out over the field, her face contorted into thought. The child watched Vanessa, her little head tilted to the side in thought, before jumping down from the bench, and flitting off across the field.

A look very similar to sadness crossed her face when she watched the child go, but it faded when the little girl came running back, flopping back down on the bench beside her, and laying two small white roses in her lap. The child seemed less animated this time, her smile smaller, but Vanessa's expression softened and she seemed touched by what the little one was saying. Vanessa responded kindly, brushing the child's curls behind her ear, and tucking one of the roses with it.

They sat and talked for a moment longer, before the child was called away by her father. Before leaving, the child stood on the bench, and wrapped her little arms around Vanessa's neck, hugging her before flitting off again. Vanessa watched her leave with a small smile on her face, before getting up and moving towards him. She twirled the stem of the flower between her nimble fingers.

"Who was your little friend?" He asked, chuckling as they linked arms. They walked a while down the path before she answered.

"Her name was Alice. She thought I looked lonely, so she decided to start a conversation." Vanessa answered, laughing quietly at the memory, still twirling the flower in her hands.

"Well, from where I was standing, it seemed like a very interesting conversation." He chuckled again, wondering what a child could have had to say.

"She was sweet. Her favorite color is blue, she has several brothers who wouldn't let her play, she likes dolls and cats and making people laugh." Vanessa chuckled.

"Oh yes. Very interesting." he said, nodding his head in an exaggerated manner.

"Oh don't be so cynical Mr. Chandler." she swatted his arm playfully, and they laughed together for a moment before lapsing back into a peaceful silence.

"What about the flowers?" He asked, plucking the bud from her hands gently, and observing it.

"She thought I looked sad," she murmured quietly, thoughtfully, before continuing, "She said I looked sad, the same way her mother used to, and the flowers always made her smile." They stopped for a moment and he tucked the rose behind her ear, just as she'd done to the little girl earlier.

"You did look sad," he murmured quietly. She laughed, a small little laugh that was barely audible, but she didn't say anything else. They walked along in silence for a while. Her smile had faltered since leaving the park, and he couldn't get the image of her and the child laughing together out of his head. It had seemed so natural.

"You never struck me a child person." he chuckled lightly. As natural as it had seemed, it had still been so odd.

"Oh? What makes you say that?" she asked, looking over at his face and raising an eyebrow curiously.

"I don't know. You just seem so composed and quiet. I imagined children would annoy you." he said in response.

"I don't think they would," she murmured quietly, shifting her eyes back to the ground, her lip curling thoughtfully before she spoke again. "I've always wanted children." her voice was quiet,almost shaking, as if the words were a whispered secret she'd never told anyone. He didn't immediately respond, watching her eyes for any hint to what she would say next.

She sighed heavily,"Oh well, No one ever really gets what they want, and I'm not suited to be a mother regardless" she sounded so forlorn as the words escaped her lips. He could tell they weren't a truth, but more a wall she'd built up to prevent her heart for aching anymore. She told herself a lie to protect herself, and now she believed it. After a long silence, he spoke again, hoping to lighten the mood in someway.

"You know, I think you'd make a wonderful mother." he whispered, stopping their walk and turning her to face him. She looked to the ground sheepishly before speaking again.

"Do you?" She sounded almost shocked, and he briefly wondered how many people in her life had told her the contrary.

"Yes I do. And I hope that you'll get the chance to find out." he murmured, lifting her chin gently to look her in the eyes. It was a genuine hope that he gave to her. He wanted her to be happy, and to live the kind of life that she wanted to live. Certainly, she wouldn't always be hunted by the darkness. Surely, there would be a time when she could settle down and have peace.

She didn't speak anymore, but she sighed quietly, dropping her eyes away from his again.

"I do too." she breathed, and he wasn't quite certain that he'd heard her say it at all, or if she'd actually said it. He linked their arms together again, resting a hand on top of hers when she gripped his arm, patting it gently. As they walked, she leaned gently against him, resting her head on his shoulder every now and then, but the little rose stayed tucked behind her ear.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading darklings! I'll do my best to keep updating, but for a while, my life is going to be highly unpredictable!_


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